11 NOV 2007 / 1543L EST
Dearest Family, Friends and the Body of Christ, in whom I reside,
It has been a few days, and that is okay. I attended a wedding this past weekend in New Jersey. It was quite beautiful and full of fun. The ceremony was quite different than most I have experienced; it was Episcopalian and was not very different from Catholic weddings I have seen, except they did not do the “unity” candle. There were homily’s in which the congregation participated in the prayers and the actual ceremony; very meaningful and really got my brain thinking (like that takes much these days…). What if the community of believers (and even non-believers in this sense) at the wedding truly walked out what they spoke out during the ceremony? They were asked to say “We Will” if they would do all they could to make sure the relationship was to last till “death do us part”; of course, as with any large group - every one said it and the ceremony moved on without a skip in the rhythm.
What if? I knew some within the ceremony, friends and family of the bride mostly. I knew of some relational hurts, even of divorces, remarriages, etc. You wonder if people vowed, as well as to help them in their time of hurt, and then when trouble came (in whatever fashion), they chose to not be involved; “it’s their own life, it’s not our place to get in the middle,” or whatever excuse can come to mind that we humans use to not be in peoples lives when they really need us (even though every day when there isn’t trouble, we love to be in the middle of everyone’s business). It’s like when we’re driving on the highway, see a car broken down and think, “oh my, hope thy got a cell phone” and continue driving on; but when it’s us on the side of the road, we hope for help – even in the bright light of the day, most cars just drive by and “wish us well.”
What if? What happened to a community of people that walked by their word, took care of the “least of these” as well as, basically, everyone? I would say pick up your Bible and read Acts, but we know community still happens after that, but that is one of the greatest examples (also see the Mennonites and Amish communities for clearer modern examples, really, seriously – they are communities that don’t have Social Security, mostly no insurance or anything – they take care of their own… hmmm, something to think about?). We all sit there on Sundays, Weddings, Funerals (and any other occasions that deal with actually talking to someone or promising something), and say the usual “Yes’s” and “Amen’s” saying we will be there for them no matter what, or if they ever need anything we will be there… in all honesty, most people say it to be comforting and have no plans or thought to actually act on it. Sad. Truly sad. Now, I don’t say it’s everyone, but I am sure most people in this world have done this at least once, why, just because. It makes stuff go by faster; we can leave the sooner we say what we think “they need to hear.” Basically, the next day, we forget we even agreed to be a true community. Instead, we only think of our own community: Me, Myself and I; if it doesn’t benefit Me, why should I even actually do anything? Scary.
What If? I wonder of the over 100 people at this Wedding ceremony in New Jersey, who actually meant what they said; to be a community for people who take care of their own? You know, what we have become, when our words can’t even match our deeds (and vice-versa). That even as Christians we can’t even be people of our word and not even come close to anything considered Honorable, Trustworthy, Virtuous, maybe even Pure or dare I say… Holy.
What if? It starts with us. Not as Christians, or church members… I mean it starts with us individually (Christian, Muslim, Mormon, Jewish, Athiest). If we can’t change on the singular level; how can something that isn’t even singular multiply? It Can’t. I can talk, others can talk all they want on this subject, but it is all for naught if I (or anyone else) can’t or won’t even change my ways. I know I have been here and there with all of this. I know I have driven past the broken down vehicle too many times when I knew I could’ve taken a little out of my day to assist. I know I have said “I will” when it comes to weddings, funerals, etc to be there for friends and family (and I have been on the receiving end as well) and in a few hours forget I even agreed to help.
“Again you have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform your oaths to the Lord.’ But I say to you, do not swear at all: neither by heaven, for it is God’s throne; nor by the earth, for it His footstool; nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Nor shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.”
- Matthew 5:33-37 (NKJV) *emphasis added
The scripture referenced really speaks to us Christians on how we really need to be when it comes to how we speak to people. If you don’t intend to actually do as you say, don’t say it! At least if you don’t say it, you will know you are being honest, and if they asked why you didn’t say anything comforting (like, “anything you need, I’m here for you”), at least you can point out that if you said it and didn’t mean it: you would be lying. What friend or family member would want to lie? It seems too many.
This is something I know I need to be changing in my own life. When I responded during the wedding, I really meant it. I really hope that if there is anything we can do to help, even if it’s just an ear to listen, that we can offer at least that. Just because we live many states away doesn’t mean that community ends. Community is in the hearts of its members, no matter the distance. I leave you with that. Goodnight.
